As boring as watching the paint dry

She wants me. She wants us to be ok…. But she wants to have freedom to go out and be with other girls too.. Starting tonight i’ll pray differently. If before, all i ask for is for her to come back to me and love me again… Now i’ll start to pray for strength.. Strength and courage to move on totally. To leave everything about her behind me. Coz i dont think i deserve that kind of relationship. And i also don’t think God would want that for me.

Puerto galera trip with dabarkads. R followed hours after. Should i be happy? I dont really know. I even dont know what to do anymore and how to talk to her anymore. I just want to live a simple life that’s all. I just want to be happy even by myself.

Puerto galera trip with dabarkads. R followed hours after. Should i be happy? I dont really know. I even dont know what to do anymore and how to talk to her anymore. I just want to live a simple life that’s all. I just want to be happy even by myself.

how dare you question me when i said that i’m trying to live a simple life?! we have our own definitions. and as far as i know and as far as how i’m trying to live my life right now, it is indeed simpler than before.

definition of simple living according to wikipedia:

Simple living encompasses a number of different voluntary practices to simplify one’s lifestyle. These may include reducing one’s possessions or increasing self-sufficiency, for example. Simple living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they need rather than want.[1][2] Although asceticism generally promotes living simply and refraining from luxury and indulgence, not all proponents of simple living are ascetics.[3] Simple living is distinct from those living in forced poverty, as it is a voluntary lifestyle choice.

Adherents may choose simple living for a variety of personal reasons, such as spirituality, health, increase in “quality time” for family and friends, work–life balance, personal taste, frugality, or reducing personal ecological footprint and stress. Simple living can also be a reaction to materialism and conspicuous consumption.

we had a fight again.. i’m sick and tired of this. i know i’m the one who started it but i’m not mainly the cause. another girl unfolds herself in the picture. i can’t help but get mad. i just hope and pray that all of these feelings will pass. not only the anger, jealousy, and insecurity… but as well as the love that is pushing me beyond my limits. please… i’m not a doormat. i’m really in a daze right now. i can’t think clearly anymore… i just really want to stop loving you so i could go on and live a new life.

i can’t even remember when was the last time i posted something here on tumblr. my last post says that i’m finally single…. or something like that. and since i deleted my facebook account and so as my dummy facebook account, i wanna try posting here as much as i can. i know my life is not that interesting and i also don’t know if anybody else reads my posts but it doesn’t matter. i wanna do this so that….. 1. i can keep track of what’s happening in my life (so that i can re-read the things that happen to me on a daily basis) 2. i can practice writing again (who knows this could be a start of a new career path) and 3. i can express all of my emotions without restrictions, i can rant and rant and rant until i can’t rant anymore.

so if you happen to come across my page… you can move along. don’t blame me if in the end you’ll realize that this is just a waste of time.

so here goes nothing.

my head is all blurry right now. fought again with her. actually, i’m the only one who is mad (i think). coz after a series of novel-like text messages that i sent her, she didn’t replied to any of it. i don’t know, its just that there are times when i get mad and all worked up just by a thought af all the things she did to me in the past. i just can’t get over it. and no matter how hard i try to forget about all of those things, i just couldn’t. coz until now, i’m still hurting. and even if there are times when i just want to stay away from her so that things will be less complicated, i couldn’t. why? coz i know deep in my heart that i love her still and i’m still not capable of letting her go. so i’m stuck in this position where both holding on is as painful as letting go. (tears rolling)

so that’s it for now. if something significant happens later, i’d tell you right away.

Officially single!!!!

salamat sa aking daily dose of drugs… They make me feel numb..

paano ba tumae ng natutulog

naiirita ako tanginaaaaa

nagmumuka ka ng tanga sa sobrang pag papanggap na ok ka.. Na masaya ka pa.. Pero obviously it shows… Bkt mo ba pinapahirapan ang sarili mo.. Kung d ka na masaya itigil mo na!!!! Walang pumupigil sayo… Go on and live your life the way you’ve always wanted.. Dont act as if pinipigilan kita.. Coz that is just a lame excuse.. Ang totoo takot ka rin mag risk.. You’ee too scared to go out of your comfort zone

nakakapagod din pla… It doesnt mean pla na if u dont wanna know the truth anymore eh magiging mas tahimik ang lahat.. Tahimik dahil walang away.. Pero paulit ulit kang kukulitin ng kunsensya mo para malaman ang totoo.. Its like you owe yourself to know the truth… Am i making sense? O epekto lang ng stilnox???

Taena i want to burry these thoughts of you..
So i can concentrate more with my family and other people who truely care about me…

If the feeling is gone please sont pretend that you still love me… Coz that would totally suck!!!! D ako nagmamakaawa sa pagmamahal mo! Isaksak mo sa baga mo!

Three people you will meet in life: First is the one you love most, second is the one who loves you most and the third is the one you spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn’t love you. The one who loves you the most is never the one you love the most, and the one you spend your life with, is neither the one you love nor the one who loves you the most. He/she is just the person who happens to be a the right place at the right time.

lahat ng plano…… Magsamasama kayo leche!